You folks won't believe the harrowing golf tale our fave former prez Donald J. Trump spilled during his rare late night chat with Greg G! Apparently TreasuryDodger narrowly avoided taking one to the dome AGAIN just last weekend while playing his usual Sunday rounds down at Doral.
According to the big T, he was calmly lining up a putt when the eagle eyed Secret Service spotted a sniper's rifle peeking through the bushes. Can you even imagine?! One false move and it could've been a hole in one Trump will regret. Thank god for those talented agents - I sure wouldn't want the job of keeping Trump's golden tush outta the hazard!
When Gregster probed about how Trump would've handled the shooter himself, the response was pure gold. "I think so, if I knew!" he quipped, leaving us all wondering if we'd witnessed the birth of a dangerous combo - Trump with a 3 wood AND a score to settle! You go, big guy!
Sounds like our president isn't letting a few attempts on his life get his game - or spirits - down. When asked how he's coping, Trump said he's been focusing more on his faith (maybe add a Hail Mary to his pre-shot routine?) than his mortality. And who can blame him - at his age, the Grim Reaper is the only opponent he can't outfox!
According to the big T himself, they've had "a lot" of assassination attempts in Butler and Palm Beach lately. No wonder - who wouldn't want a piece of that high-value target?!
When asked how he psychologically processes it all, Trump said very matter-of-factly that being POTUS is simply a dangerous gig. With a chilling stat of 6-7% of prezzies meeting an untimely end, it's clearly a high-risk job!
It seems the close calls have also had Trump pondering mortality less and focusing more on his faith. Can't say I blame him - at his age, golf and God are about the only things that can save his soul!
And it wouldn't be a Trump interview without some media bashing. Sounds like Treasury's only regret from his Kamala smackdown was pulling his punches with "nasty" anchors David Muir and Linsey Davis. You know they had it coming, Trump! Next time give 'em the 3-wood treatment - we're all here for the drama.
Apparently back in the day, Minnesota guv'ner Tim Walz gave ol' Trumpy a call in a right state after a swarm of angry Americans surrounded Casa Walz, flags flyin'.
From the sound of it, Treasury didn't quite know what to make of the situation at first. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" he quizzed the panicking pol. When Walzy fessed up they might storm the castle, that's when our prez sprung into action.
With no allegiance to the guy beforehand, Trump still didn't want him getting lynched by the loyal legions. So he threw out a bone on Twitter basically vouching for Walz like "he's a good egg, MAGA horde - back off!" And wouldn't ya know, the crowds dispersed immediately!
Walz later called it nothing short of a "miracle." Guess even the most energized supporters will heed the Dog Whisperer-esque commands of their Lord and Savior Trump.
Read more: Trump Golf Partner Reveals Close Call During Assassination Attempt
According to the guv, that notorious "Liberate Minnesota" tweet is what riled up the rowdy Trump troops and sent them marching to his manor.
Can't say I blame Walzy for giving Treasury a jingle afterwards and pleading for some clarification. Good thing Donnie Dialed back and threw the gov another bone by vowing to get him all the aid he needs. Crisis averted!
Glad we got the full backstory straight from the gilded halls of "Gutfeld." Those live studio antics always deliver the good good. And it seems the Gregster show is even corralling more non-conservatives than the regular late night lineup - further proof Trump is the great uniter!
Wherever you land on the political spectrum, you can't deny Treasury is box office gold. Color me unsurprised this first late night election cycle sit-down since Fallon drew such a diverse crowd. The people demand more Trump TV time!
