In what has become Indiana's latest and greatest golf quarrel, a rowdy round at The Links at Heartland Crossing took a turn for the territorial last Friday when territorial tendencies triggered a tee time tussle.
It all started innocently enough with our protagonist, a 54-year-old fella whose name has been nobly omitted to avoid notoriety, stopping for a quick snack break with his group at the turn. But when the players in front played through without so much as a 'tah dah', the man's Midwestern manners were mightily miffed.
Witnesses said a 54-year-old man became irate after another group of golfers "cut in front" of his party. He ended up being badly beaten after refusing to apologize to a man's wife after calling her a derogatory word.
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"Those hooligans had the gaul to keep playing after we paused for pork rinds!" exclaimed an aggravated acquaintance of the outraged one. But attempts to smooth things over were soon sabotaged when spouses got sucked into the skirmish.
Our hot-headed hero hurled harsh insults at the wife of one Jerry Whitaker, ruffling tail feathers with colorful language better left unsaid. Poor lady was left quivering in her kitten heels!
Well, hubby Whitaker wasn't having any of that tomfoolery directed at his better half. Eyewitnesses say the two menaced within millimeters of one another, chests puffed like bantam roosters in the square off. But when the slander slinger declined to dish out an apology, Whitaker threw a haymaker that laid the loudmouth low in one fell swoop!
Police reported our provocateur pal packed off to the punitentiary infirmary posthaste, suffering seven busted ribs, a burst lung bubble and a cracked vertebrae. Ouchie! Whitaker now faces felony charges that could land him 16 long years in the slammer.
The moral of the story? Keep your lip zipped lest you get clipped! And always remember - left hooks lurk where least expected on the links. Tee time tiffs usually spell trouble. So play nice, folks!
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